24 hours later

julie isn't feeling well today. especially after the news she received yesterday but we are determined to fight. she is tired, having some pain, and weird side effects which we are attributing to the lack of any ovaries now. we have an appointment with her current oncologist on monday and then with cancer treatment centers of america (which i will probably refer to as CTCA from here out) on wednesday. so next week will be very informative. the sad truth is that we have no idea what we are dealing with right now. considering the surgeon went in with the idea that this was an ovarian cyst and that her colon was clean, it's a surprise to all of us that the cancer had metasticized to the outside of her bowel. she tried to ask yesterday about lymph nodes but he said he couldn't find any which we interpret to mean that none were tested this time around. we don't know what was left, we don't know what is there or how much, we don't know what was tested, or how long this has grown, we don't know a lot and so we are praying for a lot of peace when we get some more answers and for sure some new ideas next week. please pray that she will maintain a fighting spirit. this is hard enough to go through, but much harder the second time around. and since she has had another major surgery we have to keep her healing and recovery from that as a major focus. i personally have struggled the last 24 hours, which i was hesitant to admit. and while this isn't about me, it gave me a glimmer of insight as to how she must feel. as i screamed and cried i realized that her pain and fear must be magnified so much more than i can imagine. and as i became frustrated with my own inability to change this or treat her, i realized gerald must feel so helpless and worried. i know he is strong, and i know she is strong, but even those of us with great faith and steady constitutions sometimes waiver in our positive attitudes. it is my wholesome prayer that they are both given strength from our Lord to deal with this, overcome this, and share their stories so that other people facing these same awful situations may be granted some peace. and i pray that this cancer will be removed from her body once and for all with the new treatments we will be encountering as we push forward. i cannot express to you all how much it means to see the support raining in from friends and co-workers, and even people through me that have never even met julie. you are all so wonderful to pour yourselves out with offerings of prayer and service during this time. i've had several requests already for the bracelets so i hope i ordered enough, but if not, i'll gladly order some more. :) thank you all for everything you've done and i'll continue to keep you posted. in the mean time feel free to email me at mrsavery678@gmail.com if you have questions. i'm hoping this will streamline the amount of calls that julie and gerald have to field because as much as they love all of you and your kind words, i know it is wearing on them to repeat 20 times a day the same information. thank you again, and keep up the prayer support - in Christ - tobra.